Cant stop hurting myself :(?

And that is why you are in therapy, you get irrational. No matter how good and sane the advice might be that anyone could give you, it's only good when you are rational. Once you become irrational nothing else makes sense. It's getting you out of those irrational states that is going to make the difference not the advice we give you. Hang in there and hope the pills kick in pretty soon.